Once upon a time, I knew a cute boy in high school. He was quiet, serious, smart, and handsome. Three years later (he’d argue it was sooner than that), he noticed me, too. Thus began a love story that is still going on to this day—almost 19 years since we went on our first date as two scrawny teenagers.
The other night, that boy (my husband) built a fire in our backyard, and we were sitting out there enjoying the warmth and laughing at something that happened half a lifetime ago. Tears were streaming down my face from laughing so hard, and when I looked at his face across the fire, I thought how lucky I am that he was there then. And how lucky I am that he is still here now.
I know our situation isn’t exactly the norm, so I thought I’d make a list of why marrying a high school sweetheart is just the best.
- Never having to date as an adult. I have some friends who are single now, and it is rough out there for them. So many weirdos and dating apps and stories of unsolicited genital pictures. I just couldn’t handle it.
- We share a past. I can say, “Hey husband, remember that weird teacher I had for government sophomore year?” He can ask me, “Remember when I worked in the men’s department at Sears in the mall and you’d come visit me?” We know each other’s childhood friends and homes where we grew up. Our lives overlapped, and he is a part of the fabric of my past much earlier than he would have been if I’d have met him later. I am thankful for that.
- We loved each other when we were both awkward. Through acne and questionable fashion choices and crazy haircuts (OK—the haircuts were all me), we were stuck like glue. In fact, he even thought I was pretty hot through all of that.
- We loved each other when we were the most beautiful. We still care about fitness and healthy eating, but there is nothing like a teenage metabolism (a fact that I am realizing more and more as we near our late 30s). And you know what? Knowing my husband then has let me see him through rose-colored glasses. I know the same is true for him. He still sees me as I was, and that is lucky.
- We choose each other—time and time again. Throughout college and early adulthood when we were young and fun and beautiful, we had other people ask us on dates or show interest in us. I remember telling more than one boy that I already had a boyfriend. Each time, it made me look at what I had with my current relationship. Each time I decided that he was more special than whoever else was interested in me at the time. Now we are older with three children, but I still choose him. And he still chooses me.
- We keep each other grounded. There is no lying about how cool I used to be or how awesome I was at sports (because I was neither cool nor athletic). He knows the truth about me, and I know the truth about him. We keep each other honest.
- We got to share our dreams and then help each other achieve them. He told me when we first met about his dreams for his career and his family, and then I was there every step of the way as he achieved them. I watched him and supported him, and I am so proud of him. He also knows my dreams, and when I feel like I can’t achieve them, he is there to remind me to keep striving and not settle for less.
- We literally grew up together. I have made amazing friends as we’ve moved with the military, but the friends of my childhood will always be so special to me. My husband is someone I knew in my childhood, and there is just something so beautiful about that.
- All of the firsts. We weren’t each other’s first kiss, but we were there for many other firsts. Some were beautiful, some were heartbreaking, and some made us grow into better people. Whenever we hit a rough spot in our relationship, there are so many memories as to why I love him that carry me through.
- Cory and Topanga. We were born in the early 1980s. Boy Meets World was the coolest. And now we are just like Cory and Topanga, so I think that’s about as cute as possible. If you didn’t want to be Cory and Topanga, you must be too young to know who they are … because otherwise, you’d have wanted to be them.
Truth is that I love all love stories. Each is so beautiful and unique no matter when two people fall in love. But like most people, I am partial to mine.
Did you marry a high school sweetheart? What has been your favorite part? Or did you get married to someone you met later? What are your favorite things about when and how you met?
I love that I get to show my daughter pictures of us in high school!
Yes! Me too!
Yes! We started dating my freshman year in high school and have been married for 25 years. We helped each other thrive from the very beginning: through enlistment, military moves, kids, college, OCS, career changes, retirement after 24 years of service, and building a business together. I feel judged when people find out how long we’ve been together, which used to make me feel self conscious. Now I just wish everyone could experience the deepness of a relationship that started at a young age, as you’ve outlined so well in your article above.
Brandi, I love your love story! You have so much history, and still hopefully a lot of long beautiful years ahead full of new memories. <3
We met sophomore year of high school and survived a long distance relationship as college had me in Misssouri and him in California. Married right after college and have 4 kids and have been married for 23 years. He has been my only real love, and I have zero regrets.
I’m still Married to my high school sweetheart! I knew of him from the first day of attending a new school in sixth grade. I had a vision of both of us old together the first time I saw him and heard him laugh, his laugh was music to my ears, still is this day. He didn’t notice me until the end of 8th grade and we didn’t officially start until a couple of days before freshman year started. We’ve been through; me moving to Lake Havasu, back to Peoria, then to Phoenix all while he was in Avondale. We made it through high school, his going to the club with friends years, graduating high school, having two kids by the time we were 21 and 23, all the way to now having two newly adult kids and a 10 year old. It was mostly smooth sailing. The last few years have been rough adjusting to having adult kids and myself finally working after finishing college but still in the end every single day we choose each other. We look forward most to days we don’t have things going on that we can spend together whether doing something together, doing something independently but in the same room, or we do nothing together. I definitely wouldn’t want to go through this life with anyone else.
It’s late, I forgot to say that the best thing about being married to your high school weetheatt (or well at least to me) is that you can be you your real true self, not who others want you to be. That they accept and love you for you, flaws (or what I think are my flaws) good days, bad days, and all days in between. I love how I first laid eyes on him and just knew and got a vision of us old together, as I shared in our history.
I married me high school sweetheart . We were 14 when we meet . We were married 29 years 2 girls and a grandson . Hubby passed Oct 15th . My best friend . The hardest thing ever is going on with my life without him.
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