Choremance Me

What DO I Want for Valentine’s Day?

Every year before February 14th, my husband asks me the same thing: “What do you want for Valentine’s Day?” Usually, I shrug and suggest chocolates, flowers, or a night out. But this year? This year, I know EXACTLY what I want.

I want him to “choremance” me.

Chormance Me

You read that right: choremance. It’s a dating trend taking the married world by storm. Couples take mundane tasks, like folding the laundry, walking the dog, or bathing the baby, and turn them into small dates – pockets of romance in everyday life.

A new article by The Every Mom describes it best: “A ‘choremance’ is exactly what it sounds like—doing chores to get some romance in a relationship. Whether it’s doing laundry together or going grocery shopping, these common, everyday tasks are moments that promote quality time together.”

As a busy toddler mom, I rarely ever get the chance to feel like a wife. After a long day of working from home and wrangling our daughter, all I want by the time my husband gets home is five minutes of silence and a helping hand with my never-ending chore list. Often, he is too tired to provide either. 

That’s why this Valentine’s Day, I want us to give choremancing… a chance. I want to do dishes together while we talk about the years and multitudes our relationship contains. I want him to tell me how good I look in my sweats and messy hair while we take out the trash, as if I were dressed up in a little black dress and makeup. I want him to tell me he likes the podcast I picked for us to listen to on the ride to the doctor’s office!

I’m not asking for a life straight from a romcom; I’m just asking for intimacy in all the small moments that make our lives already so beautiful.

Let’s stay in. Let’s dance with the baby while you show me how to make the dessert you saw on TikTok! Let’s discuss the plot twists in our favorite shows while we sweep and mop!

Let’s make this Valentine’s Day last. 

I just want to talk about us. Remember them? 

It’s also important to me that we don’t take up these moments stressing over the usual. No talk of debt or impending deployments; I don’t even want to hear an utterance of figuring out a way to get our daughter to enjoy her dance class.

All I want is a little “choreplay” – a little pocket of subtle romance amidst all the normal things we do day in and day out. Is that too much to ask for?