We all either know “that” family or have watched “that” family on social media that take their kids everywhere- to the ends of the earth! I remember seeing one Reel about a mother and her two, very small children in an airport terminal awaiting a one-way flight to South America for travel. When my kiddos were really little I normally had two responses to seeing content like this: one, I wish I was brave to do that, and two, my anxiety is triggered by watching this. Now that they are a little bit older, we have actually started to travel on our own a little bit.
The kids and I are a package deal. Outside of school hours and when dad is away, we are together. There is no family 2 miles down the road I can drop them off at, and I seldom use sitters- unless it is a very specific event I need to attend. From their infancy in Germany and well into toddlerhood, they were running errands with me while dad was TDY, in the field, or working really long days. There was no back up when dad was not home. Some days I would get a hair of spontaneity and we would venture out in Oklahoma or to a shallow lagoon in Hawaii. By the time we arrived at our 4th duty station, Ft. Carson, we had become pros.
Now what that does not mean is every outing we’ve ever had has been perfect. There are many times that we left our Hawaii Costco in tears (all three of us!). I vividly remember carrying our infant son’s carrier across the cobblestones of our German home while hoisting our eldest (about 18 months at the time) in the other arm thinking: “how am I going to do this?!”
When it comes to solo adventure with your kids, there is only one piece of advice I can give you, because it’s the only one that matters:
Solo adventures with your kids should – and WILL- look different for every family!
Shocking, I know! But here is the honest truth about families: none of our families function the same, so your adventures shouldn’t either! The more time I spend on -and lately off- social media, it is really important to know there is a lot going on behind the scenes that the influencer or the Jones’ next door don’t want you to know about: the debt they are in from the cost of the resort, how one of their kids’ didn’t want to go and threw a fit the whole time, the nanny (A NANNY! what is that like?!) that attended to keep the littles content.
There have been times when my oldest, who is medically complex, could not leave Germany as a baby. Out of country travel away from her medical team with her was too risky. When we were awaiting the autism diagnosis process for our youngest, it was always a gamble to take him places. We didn’t know if he would be overstimulated, get upset, or elope – which was a huge risk as well. If military life has granted me anything, it is has been the privilege to get to know so many different families and watch them navigate adventures that work during that season- especially when the service member is not at home.
I started with small outings in kid (or baby, or toddler) safe areas and gave myself a lot of time and grace on expectations for our morning or afternoon adventures. Slowly, the adventures got a little bit bigger and I gained confidence. For me, safety is a big concern and if I feel it’s a trip that would require an extra adult, we either plan for dad to join us or meet up with family. I will also pay for convenience (non stop flights) if we are adventuring without my husband. Sometimes our adventures have an educational aspect, but sometimes we adventure to try new foods or to just have fun! Go with some friends! Make some memories! My encouragement to you is to go have adventures with your kids, no matter how small those adventures might be!
