Dear Daughter: Growing Up While I Catch Up

By
Nicole Cowan
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0
Dear Daughter: Growing Up While I Catch Up
My daughter Elizabeth and I

Dear Daughter,

As I sit down to write this, I find myself overwhelmed by a mix of emotions. You are almost 18, about to graduate high school, and already stepping into the world as your own person. You have a job, a boyfriend, and a life you’re beginning to shape for yourself. And while I couldn’t be prouder of the incredible young woman you’ve become, I need to ask one thing of you: please be patient with me.

This has all happened so fast, and I can’t seem to catch up. It feels like just yesterday I found out I was expecting you. I still remember the way I felt when I first held you in my arms. Those moments were the beginning of a journey that has shaped my entire life.

I think back to the little girl who used to write her 5s backward and somehow always forgot the number 5 when counting to 10. I have no idea what you had against that poor number, but those quirks made you uniquely you. Now, that same little girl is driving, going out with friends, and living a life that’s becoming more your own each day. And this mom, who still sees glimpses of that tiny hand clumsily gripping a pencil, can’t help but grieve how quickly time has passed.

I am so proud of the bravery and resilience you’ve shown as a military child. You’ve taken on a role that comes with unique challenges, from saying goodbye to friends and places you love to constantly adapting to new people, and new environments. I know it hasn’t always been easy, and I’m sorry for the goodbyes you’ve had to face. But I also hope you see the rich experience it has given you. You’ve met so many amazing people and had opportunities that others may never experience. Your strength and ability to navigate these changes inspire me every day.

Please know that I trust you and the adult you’re becoming. I trust the choices you’re making and the path you’re creating for yourself. I hope I’ve given you the tools to face the world with courage and kindness, to embrace every joy and navigate every pain with resilience. But as much as I celebrate your independence, my heart aches to know that someday you might not need me the way you used to.

Still, I hope you’ll keep me close. Share your joys with me, let me shoulder some of your pain, and know that no matter where life takes you, I will always be here. I hope you’ll invite me into the beautiful life you’re building, and not because you need me to, but because you want me to.

Right now, I’m in this in-between phase. I am still protective, still fiercely your mom, but I know it’s time to step back and let you take the lead. Please be patient with me if I falter. If you see tears in my eyes, know they are born from a mix of pride, love, and the bittersweet realization that you are growing up. You will always be my baby, no matter how old you are. Letting go isn’t easy, and it’s going to take me some time to adjust.

Even when you’re in your 50s and I’m in my 70s, I know I will still worry about you. I’ll wonder if you’re taking care of yourself, if you’re eating well, if you’re happy. That’s what moms do, and I will never stop being your mom. My love and concern for you will never fade, no matter how many years pass.

I love you more than words can ever express. Please be patient with your mom as she learns to let go, and know that I will always be your biggest supporter, your safest place, and your fiercest advocate—forever and always.

With all my love,

Mom

you are growing up
My daughter and I when she was much smaller and 5 duty stations ago.

Another Blog from a military mother that is having a hard time embracing the fact that our daughters will grow up: Dear Daughter, Somedays You Drive Me Crazy, But Please Don’t Grow Up. 

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Nicole Cowan
Nicole Cowan
Nicole Cowan, or Nikki to those that know her well, is an active-duty Army spouse for nearly 17 years and a mom of a teenage daughter Elizabeth, as well as a 5-pound Chihuahua named Athena. Nicole and her husband Matthew are high school sweethearts and have been together since 1998. Recognizing the challenges of maintaining stability in education amidst the military lifestyle, Nicole homeschools her daughter. She is a huge homeschool advocate and believes that it is important for parents to have that option. With a background in veterinary nursing, Nicole's love for animals runs deep. Although she no longer works in the field, she still tries to find ways to put her time in the veterinary field to use by answering any questions people might have. She believes that educating the public about animals is crucial for fostering a better understanding. Originally from Fort Collins, Colorado, Nicole's heart belongs to the mountains. Nature has always been her inspiration. She used to have her own photography business, specializing in lifestyle photography of children and animals, as well as macro nature photography. Although she no longer does photography as a business, she still is very much a photographer and does it for fun now. Animals, nature, and kiddos are still her favorites to photograph. Nicole is currently the owner of Sweetellabella (a nickname she has for her daughter) where she makes jewelry and other fun gifts all inspired by nature for the lover of flora and fauna. She has a booth in 3 Painted Tree locations in Virginia and in Arizona. She also has her work on her own website and sells on a platform named Spouse-ly where all the vendors are military, and first responder affiliated. When she's not working on her creative projects, Nicole enjoys spending time with her family. One of their favorite pastimes is exploring antique stores on the weekends.

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