Traditions and Memories
When I stop and think about the Christmas traditions I had when I was a kid, I can come up with three right off the top of my head. First, I always wanted to be the one to help set up my mom’s Christmas village. I loved seeing it all lit up, and finding places for all the little people was a way for me to tell a little story. Second, as a family, we would go out and cut down a Christmas tree (at least until we transitioned to the fake tree). Regardless of the tree in our house, we decorated it as a family. Third, we were together. Sometimes we had family staying with us, occasionally we would be at a relative’s house, but no matter what, the five of us were together. Every. Single. Christmas. Now, as a military mom, I look at what my boys have for holiday traditions, and I immediately feel guilty because our Christmas looks so different every year. Change is their tradition.
Here’s a quick synopsis of the last couple of Christmases our family has had…
2020: We were in California during another Covid spike, so it was just the four of us, and it was pretty quiet. After opening up gifts, the four of us went to the football field on base and kicked a soccer ball around.
2021: My husband was deployed, so I drove home to Washington to be with family. We were loved on and the boys were spoiled, but we missed having our family whole.
2022: Christmas Eve happened to coincide with King’s Tide in Cali, so we went to the tide pools in the Malibu area and caught an octopus, sea stars, anemones, and more. On Christmas day, we went for a walk, and the boys rode their new scooters.
2023: Christmas in Tennessee was a little colder than what we were used to, but the four of us were together. We still managed to go outside and brave the cold, but nothing like California.
2024: Blessed to celebrate Christmas as a whole family again, this year we invited a friend over for dinner. We spent the first half of the day opening presents and playing with our new things, and the second half of the day we gathered around the table and enjoyed food with a friend.
Each year, when we drag out the decorations, the boys are so eager to help. But each thing they bring out, they ask, “Where does this go?”
Truth be told, I typically don’t even know where things go most of the time. We have moved houses every 2 years for so long now that I can’t even remember where I had things the previous year.
Their tradition is change.
Change and Traditions
Christmas isn’t the only holiday that looks different each year. We never know who will sit around the table with us each Thanksgiving. We were blessed to have my parents come down and feast with us this past Thanksgiving. But the years prior, it has been various groups of friends or church families that we eat with. We don’t know who we will watch fireworks with, we don’t know who will come to our boys’ birthday parties, we don’t know who we will trick or treat with each Halloween. Our tradition is change.
While guilt is the first feeling I typically feel, it’s not where I eventually land. My boys have been loved on by strangers who became family, they have seen parts of the world that I had never heard of at their age, and they are befriending change. I know some adults who crumble when change blows through their lives. But my boys see change as an opportunity, an adventure. The military life is hard *deep breath in, deep breath out*. It’s truly not for everyone. There are days I feel like it is taking so much from my boys, and that it’s time we get out. Right when I feel that guilt and sadness, I experience a moment that I know I wouldn’t have had if we hadn’t joined. One of my favorite Thanksgivings of all time is the year three other military families joined in on a beach rental. Ten kids and eight adults. Families we had met and grown to love during our California tour. If someone had told me 10 years ago that my favorite Thanksgiving was the year I was three time zones ahead of my family, sharing a house with three other families that I had known for a short period of time…I would’ve laughed! But it’s true.
Our tradition is change.
I know, I’ve said that once or twice already, but it’s true. And honestly, sometimes I have to say it out loud to remind myself. I want so badly for my boys to have the childhood I had, but they won’t. Some parts of theirs will be better than what I had, and some parts of mine will be better than theirs. But they will always be different, and that’s okay. Their holiday tradition will be that every year brings its own magic, different people, different cities, different adventures. All of it wrapped in love.
