If You Give a Mom Moscato

If you give a mom a glass of Moscato, she will probably want to enjoy it in a nice bubble bath.

But when she goes to draw her bath, she might decide that her tub needs to be cleaned.

After she scrubs and bleaches her tub, she may decide that her bleachy rag should go straight into the washing machine so it doesn’t accidentally bleach something else.

If a mom is going to put something bleachy into her washing machine, she will probably decide that she should throw in an entire load of things that need to be bleached, so she’ll begin gathering white towels, sheets, and Daddy’s undershirts.

While she’s rummaging through Daddy’s hamper in search of his undershirts, she might decide that she needs to tidy Daddy’s closet up a bit.

As she hangs up Daddy’s clothes, she will probably find Bobby’s soccer shirt that has been missing for two weeks.

While en-route to Bobby’s bedroom to return his soccer shirt, she will remember that she signed up to bring cookies to Bobby’s soccer practice … tonight.

She will divert to the kitchen where she will place the shirt on the table and begin digging through the pantry in search of cookie ingredients.

Inside the pantry she will find everything she needs to make cookies … except flour.

If a mom needs to make cookies and has no flour, she will decide to run next door to the neighbor’s house and ask if she can borrow some.

As she slips on her jacket before running out the door, she will remember that she still has the neighbor’s pie pan that she borrowed last week and will begin digging through the cabinets in search of the borrowed treasure.

While digging in the cabinets, she will find the pie pan … and a mouse.

After screaming hysterically for four or five minutes, a mom will realize that she just woke the sleeping baby.

When she picks up the screaming baby, the baby will be hungry so the mom will feed her while she yells for Daddy to please come find the mouse.

When the baby is fed and Daddy has tired of chasing the mouse, the mom will slip over to the neighbor’s house to borrow that flour and return that pie pan.

As the mom is walking back into the house carrying the bag of flour, the cat will rush across the living room, chasing the mouse, and tripping the mom so that she spills flour everywhere.

If a mom spills flour everywhere, she will cry but Daddy will tell her not to worry and that they can just buy cookies for Bobby’s soccer team.

After the mom vacuums up the flour, she will probably decide that she needs a shower to get the flour out of her hair.

When she trudges up the stairs to her bathroom, she will find her warm glass of Moscato on the edge of her shiny, clean tub.

If you give a mom Moscato, she should chug that sucker down as fast as she can.