When your child brings up the idea of joining the military, it’s natural to panic—instantly. Our minds race to dramatic war scenes from movies like Pearl Harbor and Saving Private Ryan. Those thoughts do not reflect the reality of military life.
When my son told me he wanted to join the Air Force Special Forces, my first thought was, absolutely not. I imagined my baby fast-roping from a Chinook into a dense jungle, snipers locked on him. No way… right?
Stop it. Don’t go there.
Remember to breathe.
Looking back, joining the military was probably one of the best decisions my son ever made. Stop a moment and take some time—ideally a few days—to process the conversation before responding. Instead of focusing on the dramatic, fear-inducing scenes Hollywood portrays, allow yourself to consider the many benefits a military career can offer.
Do your research.
Your child has likely been gathering solid information from a local recruiter or someone currently serving. Take the time to research the career opportunities each branch of the military offers. Explore the incredible benefits such as education, leadership training, and more. And remember—deployment doesn’t always mean combat.
Deployment? I know where your mind is going. Stop it. Deployment does not always mean what you are thinking.
Discuss it with parents who have experienced it and/or someone currently serving in the military.
Many experienced parents further along in this journey will assure you—it’s going to be okay. We’ve all adjusted to the changes that come with military life, and our children are thriving. That said, try to avoid negativity. While there are challenges, just as in civilian life, there are also incredible opportunities. Every path has its ups and downs, so be mindful of who you turn to for advice.
Ask questions and allow honest answers.
Give your child the space to share their reasons for wanting to join the military. Ask thoughtful questions to help them explore their decision, and most importantly—listen. Often, listening more than advising fosters a deeper conversation and allows you to better support their decision-making process.
Consider asking:
- Why do you want to join?
- What do you hope to gain from military service?
- What are your long-term goals, and how can the military help you achieve them?
- How do you feel about attending college before or after serving?
Reassure them that it’s okay if they don’t have all the answers. The transition into adulthood is full of uncertainty, but they don’t have to navigate it alone—you’re there to support them.
Attend a meeting with your child and a recruiter.
Recruiters understand that having parental support can make a big difference in a child’s decision to enlist. Take the opportunity to ask your own questions so you can be well-informed about what to expect. Encourage your child to do the same—being prepared benefits both of you.
As an added step, encourage your child to learn about the ASVAB (Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery). This test is required to join the military helps determine the jobs they may qualify for. To support our son, we chose to cover tutoring costs to help him prepare—an investment that gave him more opportunities within his chosen branch.
- The test covers subjects like math, science, vocabulary, and mechanical knowledge.
- Scores determine job qualifications within the military—higher scores open up more career options.
- The test can be taken at school, at a Military Entrance Processing Station (MEPS), or a Mobile Examining Team (MET) site.
- Free study resources are available online, and some schools offer ASVAB prep courses.
Watching your child consider a military career can feel overwhelming, but with the right mindset and preparation, you can navigate this journey together. Take time to listen, research, and seek guidance from those who have been through it. While military life comes with challenges, it also offers incredible opportunities for growth, education, and leadership. No matter what path your child ultimately chooses, your support and understanding will make all the difference.
Trust the process—and trust them.
