Kid Funnies to Brighten Your Day!

I love Facebook’s “On This Day” feature. Last week I was particularly stressed as I was trying to get through finals as a grad student while still being a mother of three children.

On Facebook, a conversation I had with my middle son 2 years ago popped up:

Son: Mom, do you know Mrs. Kimball? (the mother of one of his classmates)

Me: Yes.

Son: Isn’t she so pretty, smart, funny, and nice?

Me: Yes. She is.

Son: I wish she was my mom. Don’t you?

Me: (Ouch!) … Well, I think she might be a little young to be my mom.

Son: Oh, yeah. She does look a lot younger than you.

I laughed so hard that I was inspired to ask some friends for funny things their kids have said. Below are some of my favorites from my friends and from other Military Moms Blog contributors. I hope they can make you smile as well!

If your kids (or kids you know) have said something hilarious, feel free to share! There is nothing like a kid funny to brighten a gloomy day.

Hubby: Your mom really saved my life. When I met her I was headed down a dangerous road. 
Maddie: Was it I-9?

“My son asked me several years ago, “When Mama Sandy dies, can we put her in a candle? Because she always smells good.”

“Mom, are your legs spiky for self-defense?”

Once, I was brushing my hair, and my 2-year-old said, “You look beautiful!”

I said, “Thank you,” and parted my hair.

She told me, “Now, you look just medium.”

Eight-year-old daughter was talking to me about the future. She said, “I don’t want to go to college because it’s so close to the time to leave you guys and so close to–”

Five-and-a-half year old year old daughter interrupted, “–your death.”

Isabelle in kindergarten: “That’s dumb! D-O-M-E dumb!”

One of my students was talking to his friend about how he recently started reading the Bible.

“How much have you read?” I asked.

“Oh, I’m still on genocide.”

Looking at a picture of The Last Supper. “Which one is Gramma Dorothy?”

When the answer to the question “How did you sprain your big toe at recess today” starts with “Well, Rachel knows how to do The Worm, soooo….”, you know this is going to be an interesting story.

I asked my grandson what he learned today at preschool, and he said, “We learned about a man and a whale.”

I said, “Jonah?”

He said, “You knew him?

When my son was five, he asked, “Daddy when we cook people do they turn into chicken?” 
My husband: “We don’t cook people. No.”

L (in a public bathroom): Mom why are you squatting and not sitting? Now I can see how much bigger your vagina is than mine. Why is that?

Me: Uh, yes, well, I am much older, and that’s the way it should be. We can talk about it later. 

L: Why can’t we talk about it now? You tell me, “all you need to do is ask” all the time.

My 7-year-old got invited to a birthday party. He said, “Momma, My friend Nora invited me to her birthday party. She’s Finnish.”

My 5-year-old said, “What’d she finish?”

I was pregnant, and I sneezed. I said, “I’m going to sneeze the baby out!” My 4.5 year old replied, “You can’t do that. . . . your nostril is too small!”

Tell us some funny things your kids have said!

Graphics used in this post can be found <a href="http://FreeVector.com“>here.