There is always that mom in the memes. She is tired. And frazzled. And so over caring about it.
I totally relate to the tired, frazzled wife and mom in so many social media posts. I’ve seen a meme or something like it countless times on Facebook, and I laugh each time because she is my spirit cartoon.
I’m going to make a few wild, albeit accurate assumptions about the woman in these memes and pictures.
She’s let herself go, but not in a negative way.
I’d actually say she’s quite brave. She’s okay with letting go because she’s realized it’s not such a bad thing. She’s learned that letting go allows her to release things that don’t currently serve her so she can embrace the things that actually matter. This woman probably sports Merrell’s and Birkenstocks like yesterday’s stilettos. She leaves the house in loose active-wear shorts, last night’s pony, and shower shoes. Her neighbors, without a doubt, know exactly what she looks like.
This woman doesn’t consider herself inferior if she’s not shaped like the super fit mama just down the block.
She probably spent some of her twenties comparing herself to the other young women who’d cluster the halls at the Marine Corps balls. She probably chastised herself for not cutting out bread two months before the formal occasion. Today she sees ain’t nobody got time for that.
She doesn’t feel guilty for not attending a weekly story and craft time.
It’s not her speed; she doesn’t feel shame for saying so. She’d rather read some books at home than spend half an hour bribing her kids to sit quietly on the carpet. She knows what works and what doesn’t work for her young family. She knows being a good mom has nothing to do with the activities they do or do not partake in.
This mom brings store baked goods or trays to gatherings.
She may have even grabbed the tray at the supermarket right before your house. She’s past pretending she has time to make some spread that will outshine the other dishes. She has young people in her house and getting their food together is tedious enough because what kid really eats what’s being served at someone else’s party?
She’s never volunteered with her husband’s unit.
She’s never taken a LINKS class. She’s never hosted other spouses at their home. She has faith the unit will not crumble in the absence of her presence. There are other spouses who are more skilled than her. If you invite her to a coffee social she may or may not attend. She isn’t plagued by the fear of missing out.
She doesn’t try to be every type of girlfriend.
She’d rather not push shopping carts together through Target, and she’ll take a rain check on your Bachelorette viewing party. Sometimes she goes out at night with a select group of friends, but she’s not shy to admit it took some motivation to actually get out of the house. Sometimes staying home sounds so good.
You can take her or leave her. She knows her people will take her as is.
The other weekend, in the Target parking lot, I caught my own reflection in our car’s window. My driving glasses doubled as a headband that afternoon (as they often do when I’ve not the time to tame my wild mane), but a portion of my snarls had managed to rise to a misshapen bow beneath the nose ridge. My face was bare and eyes in a perpetual squint. I drew the glasses to my face, shrugged, and thought of this cartoon woman.
Meme woman: I feel you, and I applaud you.
In a world of oat milk lattes, I have an inkling you’re good being a cup of black coffee. Probably even cold black coffee. You’ve accepted this season of life. And assuming you’re a mom, you’re okay with being in a constant state of distraction. Your kids are probably young, and you’re wise enough to know it’s only a season. They won’t be toddlers forever. You know you won’t always be this tired.
