Media is everywhere. Sometimes it feels like it’s hard to escape it. It can be even harder to know how to help our kids navigate the constant barrage of information when events around the world, or around the corner, turn tragic.
“I think that it is super important that you understand your values before you communicate them with your kids.
Really set time aside to know how you feel about a certain situation and then create space for yourself to really process the key points that you want to communicate with your kids”
– Courtney
What Do They Know?
If your kids are young, they may not have heard anything about what is going on, and that’s okay!
If your kids are older, they may have picked up information at school, through social media, or on TV. Knowing what they’ve heard, or how they have interpreted it, can help you determine next steps.
No matter their age, if they aren’t comfortable talking about it, don’t push.
“Let them lead the way. Sometimes they’ll come across things before we have a chance to talk about it.” – Ellen
Answer Their Questions
Kids love to ask questions. Be ready to give them answers based on what you think is best for them to know. Be honest with them, but you can certainly spare the details. Try to keep what you share with them as factual as possible.
They may ask questions that you don’t have the answers to. It’s okay to say “I don’t know”.
“If they ask about it, tell them the truth.” – Taylor H.
“We try to give them the facts.” – Jenn S.
Help Kids Feel Safe or in Control
Follow your child’s lead for what they need to feel safe or in control. That may be that they need to talk about it. They may want to help, or they may want to be prepared if something like this happens again.
“Go through people that make them feel safe. Places that make them feel safe, things that make them feel safe. Tap into what makes them feel safe. Validate feelings of confusion or being scared. If you practice a specific faith, that’s really important too. We always remind them that when they’re scared they can pray and ask for strength and/or courage.” – Taylor H.
Limit Exposure to the News
Think about how old your kids are and how mature they are. Use that information to help then decide how much news they can/should consume.
“If they see something on the news that troubles them, if people are talking about it, find out how they feel, and validate their feelings and then tell them the things that they need to hear. That you love them, that you care about them, and you’ll protect them.” – Heather
Open Communication
Keep the lines of communication open. Talk about current events as often as needed. Most importantly, watch for stress!
“Kids are impressionable, they will soak up whatever we tell them. I think it is an important time to really listen. Take the opportunity to go down that road if your kids open the door. We may think they are scared of something, but in reality they may just be curious. And if you aren’t prepared, because you’re like ‘I don’t know’. Tell them – ‘I’m not really sure but we can get the answer together’.” – Erin
If your child’s behavior changes, call their doctor.
Speaking of stress and mental health –
Mental Health
Make sure YOU are okay. You have to put on that oxygen mask for you before you can for anyone else.
Your mental health is important too. If you need to shield yourself from the news, do it. Your kids need you.
If you know that watching the news is going to negatively affect your mental health, find a battle buddy that will help you filter down what you need.
“Communication is key! I told him [spouse] that I wanted to hear it from him before I heard it from anyone else” – Jenn
Stay busy to keep your mind off of things that stress you out.
“Lean into something higher, like your health or spending time with your family. Text someone everyday. Thank them or tell them you love them.” – Monique
“Sometimes as the mom it’s hard to carry it all. We want to protect our kids. We want to support our spouse. And then it leaves us feeling completely bogged down. Let this be a safe place that you can come to if you are stressing. Just know that there are people here that love you and support you and will lift you up and encourage you. You are not alone.” – Heather
Resources
Family Support through Project Sanctuary encourages you to reach out and ask questions about services. We are here for YOU! We value you and we are here to support you, your family, our military community.
Nobody gets it like someone who’s been there. That’s why Military OneSource offers confidential peer-to-peer specialty consultations free to you.
Overseas? – Military OneSource
Military OneSource counselors are available for free, short-term, confidential non-medical counseling for a wide range of issues.
