Murphy’s Law of Deployment: A Poem

You’ve heard of Murphy’s Law, right – anything that can go wrong, will?

Well, we here at Military Mom’s Blog recognize another fundamental law of the universe … Murphy’s Law of Deployment.

Anything that can go wrong during a deployment, will.

We would exclaim, “Y’all don’t even know!!” but you totally, totally do. The minute your military member is out the door, the baby poop starts hitting the proverbial fan. All manner of preposterous things begin to go wrong. Sometimes things get so bad, you wonder if people would even believe you if you relayed the outrageous antics.

Well, we believe you sister, because we’ve experienced it all. So please enjoy this silly, ridiculous, crazy poem comprised SOLELY of things that have actually happened to our contributors during a deployment.

Ya can’t make this stuff up!

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We’ve had cereal for dinner

at least three times this week.

There’s laundry in every basket,

dishes are piled in the sink.

 

The dry shampoo has taken over,

I’ve had this mascara on for days.

Deployment signs are everywhere

in a hundred different ways.

 

We all know how it goes,

the second that they leave.

Things that were just fine start to fall apart;

for months there will be no reprieve.

 

The basement will inevitably flood,

the appliances will all die.

One by one, each and every kid  

will somehow contract pink eye.

 

The dog will fall tragically ill;

you’ll have to carry him into the vet.

“Stung by a scorpion?!” he’ll say.

Can’t say I’ve heard that one yet!

 

The fish you’ve had for years will croak.

The hamster will bite the dust.

You should probably buy stock in Kleenex.

Plenty of sanitizer is a must!

 

Because there will be SO MUCH throw-up,

you won’t know what to do;

throw-up in the car seats,

even throw-up in a shoe!

 

And just when you think

the whole family is doing fine,

the car will break down during rush hour

in the middle of I-9.

 

Or the garage door will fall

smack on top of your van.

And just when it seems like nothing more can happen,

you realize, oh yes it can!

 

There will be an infestation

of one kind or another.

One kid will get lice,

and then give it to his brother.

 

And don’t think for one second

that your home sweet home is safe.

Because there are mice and snakes and spiders

hiding in every dark space.

 

Just as you throw your hands up and think,

we need to get out of this place,

the military complies

And says “You’ve got 30 days!”

 

“No problem!” you say with an eye roll,

I’m only 8 months preggo.

I love moving by myself,

why not do a full-DIY? Let’s go!

 

When you finally arrive,

they’ll ask for your ID.

You’ll realize you lost it.

Seems about right to me.

 

Because…

 

It’s Murphy’s Law of deployment,

that everything will go wrong.

But as long as it doesn’t kill us,

we’ll just say it makes us strong!

So there you have it folks, the deployment struggle is real. What’s the craziest/worst/most ridiculous thing that has happened to you while your spouse was away? I’ll share mine if you share yours 😉 !