You know when you pick a mate and think about starting a family, it’s all a gamble. Unless they’re already a parent, you really do not know how they will act in the role. You don’t know if they’ll be good with babies or better with older kids. And you certainly have no idea how the two of you will be able to tackle the daily challenges of parenthood. But, you make an educated guess that this person, who you love, will love the life that you build together.
In my case, I had a pretty good feeling about my husband being a father. Our friends who had babies first called him “the Baby Whisperer”—always the one to soothe the crier or hold the fussy child. Aside from being great when our children were in the under two set, what I value more in him as a father is the role model he sets for our sons.
Daily I am reminded that like that song by Gabby Barrett, I have “one of the good ones.” Just last weekend he set up a surprise lunch for MY mom’s birthday so she could see our kids and celebrate together. I had my doubts that they’d even make the hour long car trip without someone losing it, let alone sit through lunch like it wasn’t the elementary school cafeteria, but it was a success and just what she wanted for her special day.
The next day he got a text from our friend’s dad who had recently had a heart attack. He needed some help around the house, so my husband went, no questions asked. More than changing batteries in the smoke detectors, my friend’s dad was longing for normal conversation and time to laugh with my husband again.
As we celebrate another Father’s Day together—our tenth this year—I want to thank my husband for the little things and the big things that he does for me and our boys, but also that he does so often for our friends and family, and even strangers. I have seen him carry our toddlers up a steep set of stairs in a busy Tokyo train station, and then rush back down them to carry someone’s luggage. I have worried when he was late getting home from work, only to learn that he had stopped right at the end of his two hour commute home to help a stranded motorist. I have witnessed him spend a hot, July afternoon helping our neighbor build a huge play set, and he’s always the friend to call when you need to move furniture. He’s dependable and kind. He’s thoughtful and caring. That is the kind of man you want your sons to be; the kind of human you want your kids to be.
I didn’t need ten Father’s Days to prove to me that he is a wonderful dad, though. Even before our first son was two months old, my husband was easing my frustrations as a first-time mom. I distinctly remember sitting on our couch one evening trying to get my son to nurse and needing both my hands to do it. But, like most breastfeeding mothers, I was also starving. So here comes my husband with my dinner plate and as I am trying to feed our baby, he feeds me. It was funny, but so touching. And when we moved with two kids, ages 2 and 4, and like eight suitcases to the other side of the world, I knew we were meant to be. If you can get through multiple international airports during 24 hours of travel with kids in tow, and come out alive and laughing at your struggle, your marriage is forever.
So on this Father’s Day, I want to say thank you to all the dads who show our children what it means to be a good person. But, I especially want to thank my husband for being the kind of man that I hope our sons will be, humble, kind, thoughtful, and always there when someone is in need. Now, if I could just get him to take the laundry out of the dryer, he’d be perfect 🙂
