8 states and 11 moves is what we have accomplished so far since my husband enlisted in the Coast Guard 20 years ago, with another just on the horizon.
We have been stationed by beaches, by mountains, by corn fields—in highly populated areas, in remote locations, in places where your favorite Red Bullseye store is over an HOUR AWAY and in places where the bugs are as big as your hand!
We’ve endured countless nights apart, months across the world from our Coastie, missed holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, milestones that so many take for granted. We have driven thousands of miles yearly to see family because it is cheaper to drive than to fly us all, and honestly only taken a few “vacations” that weren’t focused on seeing family.
BUT…
We have also hiked awe-inspiring mountains, hunted for sea glass on historical shores, lived next to the places that helped shape this beautiful country, and swum in oceans filled with sharks and dolphins and manatees. We have experienced young turtles emerging from their nest to find their way to the vast ocean. We have seen the Northern Lights blaze across the Northeast and the Midwest.
We have fostered a pregnant dog and helped her as she birthed 11 puppies and then kept her and 2 of those puppies (that’s a story for another time). We explored caverns where a certain famous writer carved his name and drew inspiration for a childhood classic. We have been able to experience rockets lifting humans to the ISS and the launching of satellites that help so many like our family to communicate with loved ones.
20 years seems like a lifetime, but it honestly has gone by SO FAST.
And now…?
I thought when my husband hit this milestone, that would be it! He would retire, we would finally put down roots, we could enjoy still being young-ish with older kids and find our ACT 2! For years, I have planned, and we have talked about when that time comes, what will we do? There will be a big party to celebrate his 20 years and retirement; we will tack on a vow renewal for being married 20 years, and our oldest will be celebrated for turning 20! The party would be themed, The Roarin’ 20’s!!!!! Cute, right?
Well…THE TIME HAS COME!!!
And guess what?
He is still going strong. He has no plans to get out yet, because he still feels the calling to do this career. And you know what??
That is perfectly alright with me.
Because despite all the things we have missed out on or things we think were “supposed” to happen, we have been given the opportunity of a lifetime that so many others come in search of! We get to be explorers of new states, or cities, or even countries.
Our kids (the ones still living at home) get to continue finding new passions and new hobbies and new friends. I get to watch the man who I grew up with continue to pour himself into a service that has helped shape the man he is today.
So…
What if 20 years isn’t the end?
Am I disappointed? Not really. We have only known this life since the beginning of our marriage, and I am just not ready to give it up, yet. Does that mean I stop planning for when we do put down those roots? Nope. Still looking for that big piece of land where my future tiny goats and hundreds of houseplants will live!
Does that mean that we can’t still have a super big party celebrating our year of 20’s? Absolutely not! I never need an excuse to throw a good party! Life after retirement can sometimes be difficult. I want to make sure we are all in the best space we can be before that time comes. That includes seeking the advice and wisdom of those spouses who have been through the transition.
It all just means that we get the opportunity to serve this amazing country even longer as a family and accept that life doesn’t always go the way we planned and that is ok.
Military life is hard and messy and stressful. But it can also be beautiful and rewarding and maybe, just maybe, show us the most important thing….the realization that everything you think you need in the future is right in front of you right now.
