This military spouse journey is a roller coaster, with duty stations where I thrived and some where I merely survived. In the last 17 years, the Army sent us to places where I easily found my way into the community and made lifelong friends. However, other duty stations felt like trying to fit a round peg into a square hole, and it was almost painful to try and fit in. At those times, all I did was tread water. Sometimes you thrive and sometimes you survive, and both are ok.
One duty station could be a dream for one spouse and a least favorite for another. For example, Fort Carson was a place where I thrived, while Fort Stewart was one where I just survived. Yet, I know spouses who felt the opposite about these two places.
I Experienced the Most Growth During the Times When I Was Just Surviving.
When faced with challenging duty stations where I struggled to fit in, I learned valuable lessons about resilience, adaptability, and inner strength. These tough moments forced me to dig deep and find new ways to cope, manage stress, and support my family. They taught me to be more self-reliant and resourceful, skills that I might not have developed in easier circumstances. Looking back, I realize that these periods of survival were essential for my personal growth and helped shape me into the person I am today. I started my business when I lived at Fort Stewart because, let’s be realistic, there’s not much to do there unless you drive 45 minutes to an hour to Savannah. Innovation often springs from moments of boredom, prompting creative minds to explore new ideas and solutions. Check out this blog by a fellow contributor: Duty Station Bucket List
At Fort Carson, I cherished a close-knit group of friends who made the long, challenging deployments thrive. I will always hold a deep affection for each of these incredible women. Despite our spouses often being away, we spent nearly every day together with our children, making it one of the most fulfilling periods of my military spouse journey. These were the moments when I truly thrived. The main picture for this blog post is all of us and we were always laughing like this together.
Repeat After Me: Do It Anyway and Thrive.
One challenge I often face is feeling hesitant to get involved or make an impact in my community because I know I’ll only be here for a limited time. I catch myself thinking, “Why bother when I’ll only be here for a few years or just seven more months?” Repeat after me: do it anyway. Live as if you won’t be moving because you’ll miss out on too many wonderful opportunities that way. Here is another blog on this topic: Making the Most of a New Duty Station When It’s Only Temporary.
Embracing this mindset has allowed me to start projects, join clubs, and connect with people in meaningful ways, despite the transient nature of military life. Each time I’ve invested in my community, whether through volunteering, starting a business, or simply making friends, I’ve found richness and fulfillment that transcends the uncertainty of relocation. It’s about making the most of every moment, leaving a positive impact wherever I go, and creating lasting memories that make every assignment meaningful.
Instead of Thinking: ‘Why Me?’ Ask Yourself: ‘What Is This Trying to Teach Me?
Hard times are an inevitable part of life, serving a crucial purpose in our personal growth and resilience. Instead of asking “why me?” during challenging moments, it’s more productive to ponder what these experiences are trying to teach me. Difficulties often push us beyond our comfort zones, forcing us to adapt, learn new skills, or develop a deeper understanding of ourselves and others. They teach us patience, perseverance, and the importance of resilience. Overcoming adversity builds character and prepares us for future challenges, equipping us with invaluable life lessons that shape our perspectives and actions in profound ways. Embracing this mindset transforms hardships into opportunities for growth and ultimately strengthens our ability to navigate the complexities of life with greater wisdom and compassion. My hard times made me who I am and I would never change this, I think that is part of our souls journey here in Earth.
In reflecting on my journey as a military spouse, I’ve come to appreciate the highs and lows as integral parts of my growth and resilience. Each duty station, whether a place of thriving or survival, has contributed uniquely to my personal and professional development. Embracing the challenges, innovating in moments of boredom, and pushing through the hesitations have all enriched my experience. I’ve learned that it’s not just about enduring or enjoying each assignment but about finding meaning and growth in every circumstance. By asking “What is this trying to teach me?” instead of dwelling on “Why me?” I’ve cultivated a mindset of continuous learning and adaptation. These lessons will continue to guide me forward, ensuring that wherever the military takes us next, I approach it with courage, optimism, and a readiness to embrace whatever opportunities and challenges lie ahead for the rest of my husband’s military career and beyond. Don’t forget to check out Military One Source if you are looking for support no matter what point you find yourself in your family’s military career!
What is one duty station that you thrived and one duty station you survived and why? Feel free to share your experience in the comments!
